Plushiland Welcomes back Ratti Von Plush

Ratti and Edna Von Plush with African Gifts for Plushiland

It has now been a week since we returned from our trip to South Africa. It seems that in the process we have managed to acquire additional immigrants. Two new Plushis managed to get into the luggage. So there were two new faces to greet me, when I woke up back in Plushiland. They are Nagapie Von Plush and Hippo Von Plush.

Hippo and Nagapie Von Plush arrive in Plushiland. Ratti and Edna not amused!

Apparently they had been granted Plushiland Enterance Visas at Johannesburg Airport (YES, YES. I know it is called the Oliver Tambo International Airport!!!). Not by me, but THE HUMAN. Bit of a cheek really. INDIGNITY! I mean, fair enough, Plushiland can always use addtional slaves, I mean serfs, oh no we call them Subjects, no wait I think the Politically Correct term for HUMANS is Wage Slaves.... So Plushis must be cuddle slaves.

But I digress. It seems very wrong that the Royal Plushiland delegation, including me, Ratti Von Plush, should travel in the hold, while these new immigrants got to travel in the hand luggage. Only economy (Battery chicken class - okay it is worse for the chickens - than British Airways Economy Class) I will be looking into this serious violation of my rights.

Mr Price Pouch Bear Von Plush from South Africa. Taking Cuddles away from the Locals?!

I notice that President Pushtin of Russia, has been doing a bit of map redrawing. Bla, bla - I know Crimea was part of Russia in the past. If I understand this correctly: if another country has a significant number of your "people" then you can hold a "referundum" and take over the place. Although, I have not been around that long, I believe it has been tried before with very bad results. With out refering to any events in the last 100 years, I too have had a good idea.

Seeing there are a significant number of Plushis living in Germany, France, Belgium and England, I have decided to ask the PLushis in these countries if they would like to join PLushiland. And I will then be their leader and ensure that their Plushi RIghts are Protected AGAINST  you evil HUMANS. Once again I must thank President Pushtin, for determining Plushiland Foreign Policy. Besides PLushiland is getting a bit full with all the Plushimmigrants from Europe (and Africa). I am not sure if we should limit European Plushimmigration (these foreign Plushis are getting all the cuddles and housing in Plushiland; or just take over the countries they come from to protect their Plushi-Rights, and our jobs of course.

Hippo meets Hippo

The European Parliamentary elections take place in May, not sure How I can use this to my advantage. But no doubt I will come up with something. Maybe register the Plushi-Party of Europe. No less silly than some of the other parties. Like the UK Independence Party! Well, anyway. I must go and scheme a bit more. Plushi Politics calls.

Remembering "Marius" the Danish Giraffe, killed by a Danish Zoo. Cause it was the easiest thing to do. Zoos are Rubbish!!!!Put the HUMANS in cages, Yes!

Ratti Von Plush

DIAMOND Collector

Ratti (wearing his Imperial Invasion Ribbon) looks to hold "referenda" among European Plushis

King of Salford
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Ratti Von Plush to Visit South Africa

Ratti von Plush will be visiting South Africa (Azania) in March 2014. I am including a map just to show you where it is. Some people think that Africa is a country, no it is a continent, my clever HUMANS.

Oh My, Great Plushi in the Sky, South Africa is a country!

In order to prepare for my visit I have been meeting with Expat Plushis from Azania.

Here is a photo of some of the Azanian-Plushi Expats.











I am hoping to be able to bring some DIAMONDS back to help my private retirement fund. What with Dictators being thrown out in the UKRAINE and such like. I need to plan for my own retirement. I see that my friend President Pushtin (of Russia) or rather President Push-his-weight-around aint so Heppi (south African dialect) about the developments in UKRAINE. I am going to assume that you have heard of both Russia and Ukraine. And all this upset coming at the time of Pushtin's very successful, Blotchi Fascist Games. Funny about a Russian being a Fascist, would have thought he would be a Socialist at very least. But then what do I know about HUMAN politics.

Senior Members of Azania-Plush Expat Group

Edna and Ratti go Ethnic

 The trip from Plushiland to Azania takes a long time and we always have to travel in the HUMANS suitcase. Although this seems like INDIGNITY. It is better than being prodded and plush by the Security Guards, if we travel in the HUMANS Hand Luggage. I mean do I look like I am going to hide drugs inside my FLUFF???

King Drooley of Great Dignity was felt up by some horrible MAN at Munich Airport the last time he travelled in the Hand Laggage in 2003. This was before my time. Else I would have told the MAN to FLuff-Off. Stranger Danger and all that. "Stop Feeling up the PLushis, you Nasty MAN!!"

King Drooley takes a break

Well, I hope to be able to update you all while in South Africa. But I am not sure if they have the INternet there yet. We will be collected from the Airport by one of the Village Elephants. So you might have to wait until I get back to Plushiland.







In my absence, The day to day business of Plushiland will be Handled by Margie and Libby.

Lady Libby Life Saver Von Plush

Lady Margie Von Plush, Privy Councillor

Margie, Libby, Astrid, Ratti, Edna and Tollie oversee recent Play Group for Junior Plushis

Ratti Von Plush

DIAMOND Collector

King of Salford
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Queen's Telephone Spied on

Cartoon by Ridha Ridha

 

The NSA has been listening to Queen Angie Merkels’; the First of Europe, I mean Germany; Mobile Telephone calls. The NSA could do this because she was too lazy to put in the encryption code before she made her calls. Now Queen Angie is not amused, a few months back when her subjects, serfs and minions complained about it she did nothing about it. But now that Michelle Obama has stolen the Queen’s Recipe for Potato Soup she is very angry indeed. Imagine how upset the Queen will be when at the next state reception at the White House, she is served her own recipe as Michelle Obama’s original creation. This sort of recipe espionage is not very nice. It seems IRONIC then that Queen Angie PHONED President Obama to complain, but she did use a special landline.

Give me back my Recipe for Potato Soup

I notice that the English have extended the Murder of Badgers because too few were shot. i.e. NOT ALL. It turns out that disturbing the Badgers by making them run for their lives actually spreads TB faster, rather than reduces it. Who is the Village Idiot Now? So be not surprised, OH HUMANS, when the English decided to GAS the badgers in their homes [Setts].

I should like someone to try and explain HUMANE gassing. Of course we know that the Farmers have been doing it secretly anyway, that is why there are so few Badgers to SHOOT HUMANELY. And another question, my ESTEEMED HUMAN readers, why if in Wales they can vaccinate Badgers against TB, the death method is being used in ENGLAND??????

Also spare a thought for all the small creatures that have died in the Australian Fires.

Koala with Baby.

Fire caused, apparently, by army exercises no LESS. We have not heard from my Cousin, Ethel Kangaroo for a few days now and are really worried about her.

Last Photo of Cousin Ethel Kangaroo

Koala Von Plush, who has only one Eye, is one of Plushiland's Oldest Residents, more than 45 HUMAN Years Old.

 
HUMANS are always so concerned about their stuff being destroyed, but not too bothered when they destroy the environment and its animals. I mean Green Peace people get arrested for Piracy, now downgraded to merely Hooliganism. The punishment for Hooliganism is 7 years in a Russian Gulag rather than 15. That is more than a 50% discount, a very good deal indeed. President Putin surely already has more than enough oil and gas reserves to bring Europe to its knees. Does He really need to destroy the Arctic to get a few more Barrels of oil? One oil spill and the Polar Bears will all be dead by 2018 rather than 2043 of my prediction.

Ratti Von Plush

Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Design a Flag Competition for Plushiland

King Drooley, the First of that Name, of Plushiland. My BOSS?

South African Flag

King Drooley has instructed me to run a “Design a Flag for Plushiland” completion. Basically we need a flag for our country. No Underpants design like the South African flag.

Democracy is one thing, taste clearly is another. Democracy is not to my taste, but that is just me. I am a little dictator with big plans. Anyway we need a flag, so get on and design one. I told King Drooley that you HUMANS are both too dumb and too lazy to design a flag. If there are no suitable suggestions from YOU, by the 15

 ^th day, of the 10^th month, in the year of our Great Plushi in the SKY, 2013; then I will put something forward. We are still using the HUMAN calendar, soon to be replaced by the year of the RATTI. Also known as the Rattorian Calendar, which started in 2003. So 2013 is the 10^th year of The Ratti. Email your designs to von.plush@googlemail.com Obviously you assign all legal rights to the design to me, Ratti Von Plush when you send me anything.....ha ha ha.... I am on Facebook as Ratti Von Plush. be my friend...

The first prize is: not being sent to a Plushian Gulag. The prize has been generously sponsored by President Pushtin of PLUSHIA. I believe in the Carrot and Stick, but without the Carrots, obviously. 

Ratti Von Plush,
Lord President of the Privy Council & Grand Vizier,
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Language Problems and Asylum Seekers?

Last week I reported that to avoid the Badger killing in England, some Badgers had managed to escape to Plushiland. These Badgers were expected to learn the Plushiland dialect of the Universal-Plush language, Plushi. One of the Badgers, Bud has been spending a lot of time with The Right Honourable Hagar Von Plush, known as Tollie. It seems That Tollie has taught Bud, Cornwellian, Brit-Plushi. This is because Tollie is originally from Cornwell in Brit-Plush/know to you HUMANS as England. Not only that, but it seems that Tollie and Bud have entered into a Registered Civil Plushi-Partnership. 

Bud, Badger and Tollie Von PLush

[President Pushtin of Plushia will be very cross about that.] We wanted  all immigrants to Plushiland to integrate as soon as possible.  Our other Badger asylum seeker has moved into accommodation in Plushi Towers, building 1, level 1.

 

 

Ratti Von Plush,
Lord President of the Privy Council & Grand Vizier,
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Tedward Snowbear and Bradley Mousing

Not a good day for me. It seems my hero, Pustin of Plushia has granted asylum to Edward Snowbear, formerly of the NSA. I am really not very impressed at all, as I wanted to send Teddy Bear to Jail, for crimes against Plushiland, and ME.

Me on the phone to President Pushtin of Plushia. Telling him to send Edward Snowbear back for trial.

This is the last know photo of Edward Snowbear, taken yesterday in Plushia. President Pushtin has allowed him to stay in the country, when he needs to come back to PLushiland and stand trial for crimes against PLushi-dom.

In better news a Court of Kangaroos found Bradley Mousing (are you a Man or a Mouse) guilty of crimes against Plushiland. This was for his releasing information on FLuffi-Leaks. He can expect a nice long jail sentence from us. He will be lucky if he does not receive the ulitmate punishment. The True Death - De-Fluffing. Will have to see what mood the court is in. See the Kangaroos are only trying to protect their children from Bear Terror.

Me presiding over Kangaroo Court that found Bradley Mousing Guilty. Any signs of torture are purely co-incidental.

My Faboulousnesses