Friday, 25 October 2013

Queen's Telephone Spied on

Cartoon by Ridha Ridha

The NSA has been listening to Queen Angie Merkels’; the First of Europe, I mean Germany; Mobile Telephone calls. The NSA could do this because she was too lazy to put in the encryption code before she made her calls. Now Queen Angie is not amused, a few months back when her subjects, serfs and minions complained about it she did nothing about it. But now that Michelle Obama has stolen the Queen’s Recipe for Potato Soup she is very angry indeed. Imagine how upset the Queen will be when at the next state reception at the White House, she is served her own recipe as Michelle Obama’s original creation. This sort of recipe espionage is not very nice. It seems IRONIC then that Queen Angie PHONED President Obama to complain, but she did use a special landline.

Give me back my Recipe for Potato Soup

I notice that the English have extended the Murder of Badgers because too few were shot. i.e. NOT ALL. It turns out that disturbing the Badgers by making them run for their lives actually spreads TB faster, rather than reduces it. Who is the Village Idiot Now? So be not surprised, OH HUMANS, when the English decided to GAS the badgers in their homes [Setts].

I should like someone to try and explain HUMANE gassing. Of course we know that the Farmers have been doing it secretly anyway, that is why there are so few Badgers to SHOOT HUMANELY. And another question, my ESTEEMED HUMAN readers, why if in Wales they can vaccinate Badgers against TB, the death method is being used in ENGLAND??????

Also spare a thought for all the small creatures that have died in the Australian Fires.
Koala with Baby.

Fire caused, apparently, by army exercises no LESS. We have not heard from my Cousin, Ethel Kangaroo for a few days now and are really worried about her.

Last Photo of Cousin Ethel Kangaroo

Koala Von Plush, who has only one Eye, is one of Plushiland's Oldest Residents, more than 45 HUMAN Years Old.
HUMANS are always so concerned about their stuff being destroyed, but not too bothered when they destroy the environment and its animals. I mean Green Peace people get arrested for Piracy, now downgraded to merely Hooliganism. The punishment for Hooliganism is 7 years in a Russian Gulag rather than 15. That is more than a 50% discount, a very good deal indeed. President Putin surely already has more than enough oil and gas reserves to bring Europe to its knees. Does He really need to destroy the Arctic to get a few more Barrels of oil? One oil spill and the Polar Bears will all be dead by 2018 rather than 2043 of my prediction.

Ratti Von Plush

Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,

The Prince Georges Start School

Prince Georges start School. Head Mistress Margi von Plush (Bunny) assisted by Astrid Von Plush (Bear)

Here in Plushiland our Prince Georges have started attending Margi’s Finishing School for Plushis. It is the same school that King Drooley and Count Eccles attended. I also went to Margi’s Finishing School. We all got our diplomas, but I took a few blank forms just in case I need to issue some diplomas of my own. The young Prince Georges will be learning things like: How to Live off the other Plushis, Smile and receive Fluff and Diamonds and Holidaying in Fancy Places. All of this I learnt at school as well. It is also where I started my own personal relationship with DIAMONDS.

I am happy to report that the HUMANS have found out that it rains DIAMONDS on SATURN and JUPITER. I thought that they were Roman Gods, but turns out that they are “Planets”. I am now working on a new plan to fund a Plushi-Mission to these “Planets”. I will need to apply for FUNDING to the EU Parliament for this Mission. I saw on my last visit to Brussels that they give out money for just about anything.

Ratti Von Plush in Brussels

 On a trip to the “Planets” I should be able to collect get enough DIAMONDS to fund all my needs in addition to those of Plushiland.
I was looking forward to spending 31 Million Plushi-Dollars on a suitable home for me [Ratti Palace]

Ideas for my Ratti Palace

like that Bishop in Germany, Teabag or Tea Pot Von Else, or Somebody Von Else’s Money.

Anyway, King Drooley said I could not spend that sort of money, which makes getting the DIAMONDS from the “PLANETS” my only option.

Dear HUMANS none of you have submitted a Flag for the Design a Flag for Plushiland Appeal. So thanks for the lack of response.... There is one or two of you who I expected would sent me something, but I am very disappointed. And none of you want to be my FRIEND on FACEBOOK either. Of course this means the new Flag for Plushiland will be designed by me. So expect the Flag to be My IMAGE with DIAMONDS on a Gold background. No, I won’t be able to get away with that, there will be too many complaints from the BEARS, BUNNIES and DISNEYS of Plushiland. King Drooley will say the Flag must be inclusive.

Speaking of inclusive, as our Badger Asylum Seekers obviously cannot return to the Killing Fields of England they have now been granted full Citizenship of Plushiland. So from Asylum Seeker to Citizen in 6 weeks, your Right Wing Politicians would be livid.
King Drooley presents Badgers with Plushiland Citizenship. Ratti and Edna also attended.

Close-up of New Citizens

Plushiland Citizen Cards

So the number of PLushis living in PLushiland continues to increase. A few small Plushis popped up in Plushiland yesterday, after being asleep in storage for more than 3 years. They are: Mini-Poo, Mini-Koala and Bun-Tin, with his Fluff Carrot (Yum Yum) and Tin.
Mini-Poo, Mini-Koala and Bun-Tin

I think I might have to Nationalise (Rattise) his Tin for my personal use. Now that my plans to build the Ratti Palace have been put on hold, I will have to find somewhere else to store my DIAMONDS and other TREASURES.

If I cannot have a Palace I have decided to give myself another Title, that of Lord Protector of Plushiland. [This is a historical reference to Oliver Cromwell , what an UGLY looking HUMAN, who got rid of King Charles I of England and for once it was the King’s head that rolled. That was a serious case of De-Fluffing, if ever there was one. King Drooley of Plushiland has nothing to fear from me, as I am appointed by his pleasure, with his Seal [which I hold for safe keeping, not wanting to burden the King with looking after the High Seal of Plushiland].

Ratti Von Plush
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Teddy Bears' Tea Party

Teddy Bears' Tea Party 3rd Plush-tober

Last time I posted I mentioned that I had to organise The Teddy Bears' Tea Party. This is an annual event that starts at the end of September and lasts for 15 days. The Tea Party is held each year in commemoration of the Marriage of Prince Wittel-Plush of Bavaria-Plushi and the Countess Olivia of Austro-Plushi. The happy Bear Prince invited selected members of the Bear Community of Bavaria-Plush to a Tea Party to celebrate his wedding. This was a good many Plushi-Years ago.
Holy Bear Tea Set, with DIAMONDS

Not only is The Teddy Bears' Tea Party a celebration where many large cups of Fluff-Tea are consumed by the Bears, The Teddy Bears' Tea Party is also an important religious event in Plushiland. The Bears get together to celebrate our deity The Great Plushi in the Sky. As I, Ratti Von Plush am the Pontifex Maximus (High Priest) of the Great Plushi in the Sky. And no the Great Plushi in the Sky IS NOT A BEAR. So it is no problem that I as a non-Bear I am the High Priest. Everybody thinks the Great Plushi in the Sky is LIKE them. The Bears think IT is a Bear. The Bunnies think IT is a Bunny. But the Wise Plushis All agreed the Great Plushi in the Sky is a KANGAROO, or at LEAST A DISNEY.
I tried to make Edna stay at home, but she seems to go every where I do. There is not getting away from Edna.

Edna and Ratti (in Holy Cloak)
Cloak with DIAMONDS

One of my jobs is to organise and preside at the Teddy Bears Tea Party. So I have to wear my religious robes. Notice how I have put your DIAMOND contributions to good use, decorating my Holy Cloak of Office. We in Plushiland have DIAMONDS and FLUFF, so our government has not shut down. Our Tea Party, really is a PARTY, not like in the USA. Imagine if we did not want to pay for the treatment of sick Plushis here in Plushiland. The way the HUMAN Tea Party in the USA wants people to DIE if cannot pay of medical attention. But obviously only BAD HUMANS lose their jobs and then have no Medical Aid.

Bears, Bears and More Bears

Teddy Bears from the Surveillance Photo

Today is also an important day for another reason. Today we celebrate the re-unification of East Plushiland with West Plushiland. This happened in 1990, after the East Plushis had been under the yoke of the evil, anti-capitalist, Bearists. [YOU HUMANS had something similiar with the communists in East Germany.] So today the 3rd of Plush-tober is a Holiday in Plushiland. Except for me, I always have to work. No rest for the ME.

Bat NSA keeping an Eye on the BEARS

Even at the Teddy's Tea Party, I Need to keep order. That is why I had my Bat-NSA - secret service, watch what the Bears were up to. You never know what might happen at a Bear Religious Event.

After the Tea Party some members of the Plushiland Elite had a Private Reception on the Royal Balcony. Special Guest was Miss P-Bear (holding the red heart).
From left, back: King Drooley, Lady Liberty, Miss P-Bear, Count Eccles, Lady Edna (always following me), Ratti Von Plush.

Ratti Von Plush
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY)
Office of the King
Plushi Towers

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