Plushis are the Victims of HUMAN Relationships

I assume that most of my regular readers know what a Plushi is. But for those new fans of Ratti. A Plushi is a Soft or Cuddly Toy; more often than not a Teddy Bear. Like I have said before, I am not the greatest fan of the Teddy Bear, but it is what you HUMANS seem to think of first.

I want to rant and rave about how you HUMANS use us Plushis as Objects of TRANSFERENCE ABUSE. When a silly, small, HUMAN, I think you call them CHILDREN, falls in LOVE for the first time, they give the object of their affection a Plushi. This Plushi is supposed to be a token of the “LOVE” that the one HUMAN feels for the other one.

And it is not only the small HUMANS that give Plushis to each other, the adults also do it. For Valentine’s Day (absolute rubbish – Capitalist Clap Trap – Money making racket, buying affection. A Bad, movie and cheap dinner, anyone. And endless red roses that die...)

Or even Anniversaries (those days you get to remind yourself - if you remember the day at all- that you are chained in obligation and despair to another, boring, disappointing, underachieving HUMAN, usually called your “HUSBAND” or “WIFE”.

The problem is that the person who receives the Plushi does not want a PLushi, they want DIAMONDS or GOLF CLUBS or a new CAR. That is assuming that they do not want a new “HUSBAND” or “WIFE” and to replace you with a better model, with electric windows and a decent job.......and DIAMONDS... Did I mention DIAMONDS. I think I forgot DIAMONDS.

The point is, that not only does the person not want the Plushi, they do not take proper care of it. Plushis need special attention that most HUMANS are not qualified to give. If that is not bad enough, when the HUMAN Relationship turns sour, the poor Plushi will suffer still further abuse and neglect. The person sees the Plushi as being the same as the person (Transfer Object) who gave it to them. And because the HUMAN cannot De-Fluff or pull off the head of their previous partner, they do it to the PLUSHI. This is called TRANSFERENCE ABUSE. A Plushi, who cannot protect itself against such abuse! It is for this reason that Plushis should not be given as gifts by HUMANS when in “LOVE”.

Rocki, The Great

I recently heard about a poor PLushi, Lobster called Rocki. Rocki was a gift to a HUMAN from another HUMAN. At the time the gift was made, the HUMAN liked the other HUMAN, but not the Plushi in question. Rocki was excluded and unloved. Now as it happens the HUMAN no longer likes the other HUMAN, and likes Rocki even less. So now you can imagine what further abuse that he will suffer. Either being left at the top of a dirty cupboard; being dumped in the rubbish; or the worst fate that can befall a Plushi, be given to some horrible small, HUMAN with dirty hands and a Black Soul. You have all seen the Toy Story films.

It is for this reason that I am starting a fund for Abandoned HUMAN Relationship PLushis. Please give generously. I, Ratti von Plush, will be administering the fund. DIAMONDS preferred but cheques and cash (gold and silver coins), also accepted to: [Paymate account soon to be set up]

Diamonds for Abandoned HUMAN Relationship Plushis's FUND

Abandoned HUMAN Relationship Plushis’s Fund

C/O Ratti von Plush

Grand Vizier

Office of the King

Plushi Towers

Plushiland

Elie Tusk's HyperTrunk

Business Plushi, Elie Tusk proposes High Speed Travel

Just got back from a visit to parts of Plushiland. You know that I am very popular ruler here and everyone wanted to see me. But my NSA intelligence service [remember the Bats and Pig)

tells me that someone has been logging onto my accounts. I think I know who it is, that Cheddar and Essence. They are always trying to get the better of me. But I know that I am far, fa,r cuter than they are, and that is all that counts. Be it in Plushiland or the HUMAN world. The Beautiful are always worshiped, and quite right too. So you see that is why, I Ratti am so popular, both in Plushiland and with you HUMANs.

By the way, it seems that that hyper over achieving Plushi, Elie Tusk has proposed a new way to travel. He is calling it the HyperTrunk. Basically there is a long tube shaped like elephant trunks. You sit inside small tree trunks and the elephants blow you along the Trunk-Tube. Apparently, the first attempt will be to link Los Plushi and San Fran-Fluff-co. But Elie Tusk is so busy with his other business ventures, sending Plushies into space and developing is Plush-Car that he does not have the time to develop the idea further.

Of course Elie has lots of Plushi-Dollars, he is a Plushi-Dollar-Trillionaire. He made most of his Plushi-Dollars from his horrible payment system PayMate, that he later sold to E-Bay-Plushi-Division. I, the great Ratti, think he has more money than brains. I am sure that the system will not work. We in Plushiland will still be walking around for a long time to come. I think the plan will be as successful as the first HUMAN railway between Manchester and Liverpool in Brit-Plush all those years ago.

I must go now and think of a suitable punishment for Cheddar and Essence.

Your marvelous Ratti Von Plush
Grand Vizier, Master of All I See

Office of The King
Plushi-Towers
Plushiland