Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Babbage, The Bear Goes the Highest, Falls the Furtherest

A Plushi called Babbage and sometimes, Ted has beaten the HUMAN record for going the highest into the atmosphere/space. You can read the Guardian Newspapers Article for yourself and there is another interesting article here.

As you can see the Bear went really high and could see THE Evil that you HUMANS are getting up to. The clouds really do look like Candy FLuFF. Well done to Babbage for surviving the ordeal twice. He had to go up a second time because the silly HUMANS and their Science failed to do something properly the first time.

 I will leave it for the Scientifically minded to marvel about how clever it was and all that. I am just not sure that it was not PLUSHI- Abuse.

At least he got back, as you can see from the photo above.

Here you see the operation to take some of his FLUFF out. As one of the people said, "Babbage has the RIGHT FLUFF". I think all Plushis have the right FLuff. All Fluff is the right FLuff, but I take the HUMAN'S point.

King Drooley of Plushiland

As I was explaining elsewhere you need to be a Doctor of PLushi and FLuff medicine before you can go around cutting open Plushis. Some years back our own King Drooley had to have Open FLuff Surgery in Germany. This was not to take FLuff out but to give him additional FLuff. King Drooley had become rather flat, as the HUMAN had cuddled him too much. And in addition Drooley had been washed too often. We PLushis hate being washed especially in washing machines. It ruins our FLuff both on the inside and the outside. Originally Eccles was supposed to be a FLuff Donor, but this never happened. Drooley was filled with new FLuff from a Hobby Shop, and so no Plushis were harmed. Drooley has made a fully recovery from the operation that was several years back.

Tollie, Eccles, King Drooley, Ratti von Plush and Edna in Cornwell

Ratti Von Plush
Grand Vizier of Plushiland
Office of the King
Plushi Towers

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

HUMANS Murdering Badgers in England

Today, I am extremely Upset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems that after all the questionable evidence and Protests to stop the Murdering of Badgers in England, the Tory Goverment and those less than useless Lib Dems have allowed Farmers (or their Evil Agents Hunters) to start killing Badgers in a Test Cull. 5000 Badgers will be murdered in England in the next few weeks. Shot when they leave their underground Homes. It should really come as no surprise that Farmers and their Union are in favour of killing Badgers. Farmers and Conservatives now that is a surprise. I mean Farmers are in the business of killing things are they not. The poor cattle that the measure is supposed to protect/help, end up in the pot or on the HUMAN table anyway. I am sorry I cannot see the difference between killing a cow because it has TB or you want to chop it up and eat it. But then again I do not understand the concept of Capitalism/Money fully/eating the Seared Flesh of Animals.

So cows hardly have any quality of life either. To be kept pregnant the whole time to produce milk, kept alive with anti-biotics, then killed. Their Babies taken away from them. The Male Baby Cows (Calves), locked into boxes, and then killed to star as Veal on your plate. Or just shot anyway, because nobody, quite rightly, wants to eat the Veal now a days. Perhaps less money from the EU to farmers to produce MILK and more money to Plushiland. Common Agricultural Policy - Kiss My Fluffy Butt. Wonderful things HUMANS, so clever, SO DUMB and SUCH KILLERS. You can give up meat and milk and the rest of your Cruelty Products you stuff down your throats. Soja is perfectly fine for you LOT. All Plushis in Plushiland are Fluff-arian.

But I would like you to consider your Democra-Fluff. The people said/say they did not want the Badgers killed, and the Govt just ignores them. HUMANS protested against the invasion of Iraq (reminds me of the questionable evidence of weapons of mass destruction) and your Govt's ignored YOU. I think that you should really start asking yourself if Democra-Fluff (or as you know it Democracy) still exists in the HUMAN world. Let's not forget the fact that you are constantly being SPIED on by your LEADERS.

All the CREATURES here is Plushiland are holding a Silence Week for the Badgers of England. In That time we will refuse to interact or comfort any of YOU lot. I for my part will be biting any HUMANS that come my way. Edna has promised to Poo in their Handbags and Cars.

Edna ready to do Her bit for the Badgers

From a Very CROSSS...
Ratti Von Plush
Grand Vizier Plushiland
Office of the King
Plushi Towers

Saturday, 17 August 2013

Claim code Technorati - No it is not Me


In order to claim my blog I need to publish this code on my Blog

Your marvelous Ratti Von Plush
Grand Vizier, Master of All I See (and soon to be KING of the HUMANS)
Office of The King

Olinguito - Not Another Bear!!!

One of my many HUMAN fans has suggested that I will be posting about the new Bear/Cat Mammal Combo, the OLINGUITO. Sounds like something on the Menu at MCFluffy, it would not surprise me one bit. We all know what goes into the Krusty Burgers on The Simpsons.

For all those who have not seen a picture of the Olinguito. Here are two pictures.
Ratti's Olinguito

From CNN
See the two pictures are exactly the same. I am a really good artist, in addition to all my other skills: including but not limited to Spying and Dictatorship, and Kingship....

I am not sure what all the Fluff is about anyway. Like I need competition from another Super Cute, CREATURE. I mean really. Just when I thought I was cuter than all the rest. Well that is what my mirror says every morning, when I look into it and ask the familiar question,"Who is the Cutest Plushi of ALL? Neither the Camera nor Mirror Lie, just like politicians. Some HUMANS are now worried that the poor Olinguito will be extinct in no time. Just like all the other CREATURES that The HUMANS have wiped out with there Greed for MORE FLUFF/STUFF. I have all the FLUFF I need. I JUST take what I need from the Royal Fluffery. If the Olinguito becomes extinct we have all the Stuffed versions, just like the crowd here in Plushiland, and we are ALL very much ALIVE!!!

Besides I will show you how you get to make some more Olinguitos, really easy, Just let the natural process happen.
Parents of the Olinguito?
As I said about the Prince Greoges, Bears can have Squirrel Children. So Imagine we can have he same here. The Storks bring all the new children, or at least shopping bags and Gift wrap in PLushiland.

One additional rant. How are those IDIOT HUMANS in SOUTH AMERICA that are looking for OIL in a nature reserve???? They wanted the West to give them money not to dig up their own NATURAL HERITAGE. And YOU, HUMANS are supposed to be inTELLIGENT. We Plushi's do not destroy our environment unlike YOU Greedy HUMANs. Make Ratti your KING and I will sort out all the HUMAN Problems.

Your marvelous Ratti Von Plush
Grand Vizier, Master of All I See (and soon to be KING of the HUMANS)
Office of The King

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Robert MugaBear Wants It ALL

Robert MugaBear, wearing another Bear's HAT
My Erstwhile Dear Friend, Robert MugaBear has been in the news again. He has addressed his followers after declaring himself the winner of the recent elections in ZimBearwe. He is a very pretty bear and I can see why he has he is so popular, as I explained in my previous post. We know that he toke control of all farms not owned by Bears. He has decided that all business in ZimBearwe including the banks need to be owned and controlled by Bears only. He is taking about Affirmative Bearing. This means that only Bears can be in positions of power and own things (LIKE FLUFF).

While I do support his right to declare himself the Democrat-Fluff elected President for Life of ZimBearwe, I have a very big problem with him saying that only Bears can have Fluff/Stuff. As a Kangaroo and a Disney, I think his attitude is totally unacceptable. He has put Bear, Non-Bear Plushi relations back several years. I also think that perhaps he has not been as good for ZimBearwe's Plush-conomy as he would like us to think. In fact in 2009 he simply did away with the ZimBearwe Dollar because it was worthless. Many of his Bears have no FLuff to eat at all.

Due to these recent developments in ZimBearwe, I will not be meeting him at the Annual, Plushi-Despots, Tyrants and President's for Life conference in Syria-Bear next week. I think we will have to see what happens in term of the relations between Plushiland and ZimBearwe. But I think we might be re-entering the time of Lukewarm International Rat-lationships.

Ratti Von Plush

Elie Tusk's HyperTrunk

Business Plushi, Elie Tusk proposes High Speed Travel
Just got back from a visit to parts of Plushiland. You know that I am very popular ruler here and everyone wanted to see me. But my NSA intelligence service [remember the Bats and Pig)
tells me that someone has been logging onto my accounts. I think I know who it is, that Cheddar and Essence. They are always trying to get the better of me. But I know that I am far, fa,r cuter than they are, and that is all that counts. Be it in Plushiland or the HUMAN world. The Beautiful are always worshiped, and quite right too. So you see that is why, I Ratti am so popular, both in Plushiland and with you HUMANs.

By the way, it seems that that hyper over achieving Plushi, Elie Tusk has proposed a new way to travel. He is calling it the HyperTrunk. Basically there is a long tube shaped like elephant trunks. You sit inside small tree trunks and the elephants blow you along the Trunk-Tube. Apparently, the first attempt will be to link Los Plushi and San Fran-Fluff-co. But Elie Tusk is so busy with his other business ventures, sending Plushies into space and developing is Plush-Car that he does not have the time to develop the idea further.

Of course Elie has lots of Plushi-Dollars, he is a Plushi-Dollar-Trillionaire. He made most of his Plushi-Dollars from his horrible payment system PayMate, that he later sold to E-Bay-Plushi-Division. I, the great Ratti, think he has more money than brains. I am sure that the system will not work. We in Plushiland will still be walking around for a long time to come. I think the plan will be as successful as the first HUMAN railway between Manchester and Liverpool in Brit-Plush all those years ago.

I must go now and think of a suitable punishment for Cheddar and Essence.

Your marvelous Ratti Von Plush
Grand Vizier, Master of All I See

Office of The King

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

The Blue Noses go to the Seaside

 While Ratti has been running around Plushiland trying to control everything, he has left the computer unguarded. So we have decided that we will share our holiday experiences with you. Our Names are Cheddar Blue Nose Von Plush (Mouse) and Essence Blue Nose Von Plush (Skunk). The Holiday started when we decided that Ratti would have to stay at home and that we would go to the seaside. Of course we had to be very clever about it otherwise he would have wanted to go and we would have had to stay at home.
So when nobody was looking we jumped into the backpack just as the HUMAN was leaving for the train station. Most Plushis go to sleep as soon as they are put in a dark place. But we were so excited that we did not go to sleep. Worried the whole time that Ratti would discover what we had done. And then he would have thrown us out of the bag and taken our place on the train. But we were able to make our getaway. I think it was because it was such a sudden trip and Ratti was in another part of Plushiland at the time. It was actually quite bumpy in the backpack, but not too uncomfortable. Once it became clear that Ratti would not catch us. We fell asleep before the train arrived. We woke up in this nice hotel room at the seaside. We tried out the bed, but it seemed a bit small. I think the cheap HUMAN had decided to take a cheap room. They seem to think that us Plushis will sleep in any old hotel room. It was clean but a bit basic. So we decided to look out the window and see what was happening.

 I think the HUMAN had a late night. But as we are Decent Plushis we went to bed as soon as it was dark and woke up as soon it was light the next morning. We were taken to the beach the next day. But as it was Brit-Plush this meant that the beech was covered in stones and not sand. Although we do not like sand, as it gets into our fur, we also do not like stones/pebbles as they are not soft to sit on. At least we did have our backpack to sit on. But we had to share the space with books and other useless things. As it was winter it was not too hot and we did not get dehydrated. It is difficult for us to re-hydrate as you cannot get Fluff-Water everywhere.

We spent another day at the seaside and then we went home again to Plushi-Towers. Ratti did not even know that we had been away. He was still hopping around trying to control everything. Not much has changed there. Hopefully we will see you all soon. And then we can tell you more stories. Much nicer stories than that horrible Ratti tells.

All the best  Cheddar and Essence.
We were at Brighton in Brit-Plush.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Princes Georges of Brit-Plush, Not More Bears

Ratti Von Plush
It seems that those Bears in Brit-Plush have been very busy. While I was away on my official tour to Brussels the Royal Bear Family of Brit-Plush have added to their family. As I have said before I am of the opinion that there are more than enough Bears in the whole as it is, so we really do not need anymore. But there is just no stopping Bears.

I know it is about two weeks after the news hit the world headlines, and those Brit-Plushis have made such a fuss of their addition. I mean it is not like they are a Democra-Fluff, what with a ruling class of Queen and King Bears. Happily our own King Drooley is no relation of this lot.

In this picture on the right you can see Prince William Brit-Plush and Lady Kate. Then the three young Princes, two Bears and a Squirrel. It seems that the royals always need a spare so there are three Prince Georgies: No1, No2 and No3. The Squirrel seems to have jumped through the open window of the Nursery. Now nobody is sure if he is a royal Prince or not. And because red squirrels are endeanged in Brit-Plush they cannot just throw him out. So now there are three possible Prince Georges. It is always a bit difficult with the Royal Brit-PLushis to say who the father or even the mother is. Also Bears can give birth to Squirrels in Plushiland. Nothing strange there.

Notice the Royal Gauards in the middle of the picture and on the left Members of the Commonwealth, celebrating the Birth: South Africa, Australia, Canada. Other Commonwealth Bears were not around at the time. Notice how Scotland-Plush is going his own way.

The picture below shows the new arrival with Silver Spoons and Scotland changing his position.

 I am not sure if I will be invited to the Christening of the Princes, but I am not that bothered really. Enough to keep me busy here in Plushiland.

Monday, 5 August 2013

Heat Wave

Since our return from Brussels the PLushis have been suffering terribly beacuse of this heat wave. You HUMANS have it so each you can take off your clothes. We are covered in PLUSH and FIlled with Fluff and some even have pellets inside them. Think of us while you are gannetting down ice-cream and cold drinks. All we can do is still very still and hope that someone closes the curtains or turns on a fan. We had hoped for rain this weekend, but nothing came. Of course we do not like to get wet, as our fur gets messed up and our insides go funny. Here is PLushiland, we get washed far too often by the HUMAN. One word for it INDIGNITY!!!! WE PLUSHIs demand respect and freedom from washing machines.

Here are Tollie and Edna trying to keep cool. I have already posted these pictures on facebook, but there are very cute, even for them.

Finally, I forgot to post a picture of the European Chicken, I met on my travels to Brusells. So in order to maintain good diplomatic with the EU, I am now posting the picture.
European Chicken, and not a Lame Duck
My portrait will now appear on all my posts.

Robert MugaBear wins in ZimBearwe

President MugaBear and his Election Helpers
I am very happy to report that my good friend (even though he is a Bear) President MugaBear of ZimBearwe has been re-elected for a further 500 years. That is what I really like about Democra-FLuff once you are in power you can stay forever. Most of the Roman Emperors did not manage to for rule for 33 years, so well done to the Democra-Fluff and Emperor MugaBear. Sorry I meant to say President for Life. I was also pleased to see the way in which the Election Helper helped the Bears Of ZimBearwe make the RIGHT decision. No pressure of course. I too am building up my private army here in Plushiland. And with the help of my NSA, I am sure that I can be Grand Vizier for life.

Friday, 2 August 2013

Tedward Snowbear and Bradley Mousing

Not a good day for me. It seems my hero, Pustin of Plushia has granted asylum to Edward Snowbear, formerly of the NSA. I am really not very impressed at all, as I wanted to send Teddy Bear to Jail, for crimes against Plushiland, and ME.

Me on the phone to President Pushtin of Plushia. Telling him to send Edward Snowbear back for trial.
This is the last know photo of Edward Snowbear, taken yesterday in Plushia. President Pushtin has allowed him to stay in the country, when he needs to come back to PLushiland and stand trial for crimes against PLushi-dom.

In better news a Court of Kangaroos found Bradley Mousing (are you a Man or a Mouse) guilty of crimes against Plushiland. This was for his releasing information on FLuffi-Leaks. He can expect a nice long jail sentence from us. He will be lucky if he does not receive the ulitmate punishment. The True Death - De-Fluffing. Will have to see what mood the court is in. See the Kangaroos are only trying to protect their children from Bear Terror.

Me presiding over Kangaroo Court that found Bradley Mousing Guilty. Any signs of torture are purely co-incidental.

My Faboulousnesses

Royal Brussels Trip - Diplomatic Briefing

In my last post I said we were on a Royal Visit to Brussels. We had so many appointments that I did not have time to post anything. So I will provide you with an update, as I am sure you would all like to know how it went. I have published some photos on my facebook page. SO GO AND LOOK!!!

The trip was okay, unfortunately I did not travel alone, Edna was not carsick for a change and did not use the car as a sandbox. She is not a good traveller, so we had to stop off for her to go to the FLuff-WC.

On Day two of my visit we went to the seaside. We took a local with us, our host, Blue-sie Bee. But he did not really know what was happening and complained about getting his PLush wet and the hot sun. A real cry-bee if you ask me. Anyway we were staying at his house so we had to be nice. grr grr

 Once we got to the seaside. We had out photo shoot. But all the others wanted to be in my photos and worse they wanted their own photos. I insisted on having some private photos taken. The photographer agreed after I threatened to have him de-Flufed.
Here you see Count Eccles (Orange Ribbon), King Drooley (blue T-shirt), Blue-sie Bee, Right Hon. Tollie(Brown Otter), Lady Edna (Roo with Blue jumper) and ME (Might Ratti Von Plush), sitting on our travel bag.

 Here is one of my private photos. See how the yellow matches my new green ribbon of office. Across the see you can get to Engl-Plush. Famous for it Bankkers, and other fatcats.

After the photoshoot we had to spend several hours in the boot of the car. It was very hot in our travel bag. But all Plushis go to sleep immediately it is dark. Edna kept poking here tail in my eye. And the silly Bee kept complaining. On the trip back, the idiot humans did not let us sit in the car again. wE HAD  to stay in the boot/truck for the retunr trip to Brusels. Off with their HEAds!!!

oF YES we did have FLuff-Falafels in Pita before we were locked in the car. I am sure those fluffies working at the shop had dirty paws because, Edna got car sick on the way back as well. The again she is nearly always sick in the car. SO all in all not the best day out for me.

 Photo of my new official robes of state, as have been published on my facebook page. Notice how Edna and Tollie are trying to get in on the action. I had to fire the photographer after all. He was rather dumn even for a Teddy Bear.
Imagine my surprise and disgust when I woke after the horrible trip to find that there was a new member of Plushi-Land. This is in spite of my edict against additional immigrants. What really worries me is that he is sooo Cute. I really hate the competition. I will have to dream up some assignment for him in some dark corner of Plushi-Towers. Maybe the basement where he is never seen again. ha ha ha. His name is Carre Four Von Plush and he only speaks Franco-Fluff. And rattles on about Common Agricultural Policy, or something like that. He has a number of friends here, being a Disney. His Cousin Chou-Chou, who has been around here for years, has always irritated my FLuFF (my insides). He has always been a burr in my FLuFF.
 After a days rest I had my official meeting at the European Parliament on Fluffday (Friday). Just to remind you dear reader I am only 10 years old, and spelling is not my thing.

Me waiting for the EU Representative, who was late by the way. Notice how I am being carried on hands by the Humans. They know their place. By the way I do know the difference between their and there, were and where. But do you???? Hey hEY?

See I am wearing my Green Ribbon of office. I did not tell the rest of my travel companions about my meeting. Only Edna, and she was not allowed to come. The carry bag was too small. besides she needed to rest after the night before. SHe had still not recovered form all the FLush-Beer and VOdka Red-Fluff-bulls she had had the previous night out. Meeting the wild Plushies of Brussels.

Me at the Window, looking down on the peasants. Also known as Humans.
 Me walking up the stairs to the meeting.

 Me waiting to speak to the delegates in the EU Parliament.

Talking my place as Representative of Plushi-Land in the European Parliment. Had to have a Fluff-poo on Nigel Farage's desk. ha ha . Down with Euro-Plush Sceptics!!!

Sitting on the CHairman's seat. Addressing the Chamber. Having a well earned lunch at the European Parliament Canteen.

 All this is mine, mine, mine!

I asked the Euro-Plush Parlaiament for money. Here me and the shredded pre-Euro currency. But Seems there is no money for East Plushiland after all. Seems everything has gone to the Brit-Plush rebate and the new PLushi's from Croat-FLuff. At least I got my lunch for free.

This concludes my Diplomatic Briefing of my trip to the Euro-Plush Parliament.