Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Plushiland and Christmas

I, Ratti have been so busy since my last post. Not only that THE HUMAN has been at the computer almost constantly for the last month. Who knows what HE has been doing? Never mind, Here I am again. Although I do not believe in Christmas, Bah HUMBUG (as my great friend, Scrooge, from Dickens' A Chrismas Carol said before he went all SOFT and WEAK). Some of the other silly, Plushis here in Plushiland decided to get in to the spirit. You will notice that I was not available for the silliness.
Bogden Von Plush, Count Eccles and King Drooely

Plushiland gets into Christmas Theme. Ba Humbug
I have made one concession to your Christmas. I have got myself a Battle Bambi, saving him from having to work for that Fat, Old, HUMAN, Father Christmas.

Ratti Von Plush and Cousin Battle Bambi

Ratti Von Plush, Battle Bambi, Cousin Erica and Eustace Kangaroo, Tollie (Hegar) King Drooley, Eccles, Margi and Edna
Plushiland at Christmas Time in 2012 in Brit-Plush (England). The Plushis on the Right were our hosts. I am third from the left.
 I, Ratti von Plush will be taking my annual holiday soon. I will be travelling to Brit-Plush (England).

 If YOU HUMANS are going to be giving us Plushis as gifts at Christmas, please make sure that your small HUMANS have clean hands. Although, we Plushis are quite happy to extend Plushiland. I belief in the one PLushi_spy in each HUMAN household policy. We Plushis hate our Fluff being dirtied by sticky hands, or being drooled on by YOUR offspring. Horrible. How do you think King Drooley got his name? I will try and educate YOU HUMANS about proper Plushi-Care, but you are not always the brightest. So reaally it is an up hill battel for me.

Here are some pictures of Plushis in a shop display, in the Kingdom of Angie Merkel. DO not call it Kraut-Plush, that is just plain rude!! She was Voted in as Chancellor for third time, in parliament yesterday. Her coalition has an 80% majority. And People say, That I, Ratti Von PLush am anti-demofluffic.
Cute pictures....
Now that is what I call an Battle Kangeroo
Too Cute 1
Too Cute 2

Well it has been a busy year for me and I know that the new year of the PLush will be as busy. I am diversifying my interests and will be launching a number of InterFluff projects in 2014. So expect to see lots more of Ratti von PLush in the new Year.

So if you are going to give presents make sure that they are decent ones, otherwise DO NOT BOTHER!

You might want to consider giving a donation to the Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, instead of drinking out all your money. They take care of homeless Cats and Dogs. Or what about all the work done with my Kangaroo
Cyrus, the Airport Kangaroo. Copyright
Cousins, who desperately need your help. Read Cyrus's story and watch the youtube clip. In a very sad case Poor Hilary was shot with two arrows and died as a result of her injuries.  Read the sad story here. Have a heart and make a donation. Apparently, the having a Heart thing is what makes you HUMAN. I am not convinced.

Ratti Von Plush
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,

Monday, 11 November 2013

Rattis' Birthday 11 November 2013

First picture of Ratti with King Drooley

Today, the 11th of November is my Birthday. I am now 10 years old in HUMAN Years, but far older in Plushi-Years. I think we will be having several days of celebration in Plushiland this week.

King Drooley presents Ratti with Boat
Rattis DIAMOND studs

For my Services to Plushiland King Drooley has given me a boot for my Birthday. I look forward to travelling around Plushiland in my sail boat. As a gift to myself, I got, yes you guessed it, DIAMONDS.

This seems to be the week for Birthdays, one of my HUMAN fans had a Birthday yesterday. So I just wanted to wish Miss P. a very happy Birthday for yesterday.
We will probably be having a big Fluff Celebration later in the week, but that depends on my other commitments.

In honour of my Birthday, I have decided to pardon Tedward Snowbear. This means that he can return to Plushiland any time he likes and will not be sent to Jail, for crimes against the NSA and Plushiland. So maybe President Obama will do the same for Edward Snowdon.

New NSA member, FF
Speaking of the NSA, I am happy to announce that we have a new recruit. His name is well, it is a secret, but he is known as FF or F-Squared. The Bat NSA was rather busy around Halloween, as you can imagine, bringing Fluff-sweets to all the small Plushis of Plushiland, like Cupcake.

The Ridiculously cute, Cupcake Von Plush

Halloween BAT-NSA

Birthday Greetings for ME

I really do not have much time to write today. I am hoping that my schedule this week will allow me to write again with further details of my Birthday Celebrations. Until then I await your Birthday wishes. I Must dash as some Plushis will be arriving for Fluff-Cocktails and Fluff-Nibbles soon.

Ratti Von Plush
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,

Friday, 25 October 2013

Queen's Telephone Spied on

Cartoon by Ridha Ridha

The NSA has been listening to Queen Angie Merkels’; the First of Europe, I mean Germany; Mobile Telephone calls. The NSA could do this because she was too lazy to put in the encryption code before she made her calls. Now Queen Angie is not amused, a few months back when her subjects, serfs and minions complained about it she did nothing about it. But now that Michelle Obama has stolen the Queen’s Recipe for Potato Soup she is very angry indeed. Imagine how upset the Queen will be when at the next state reception at the White House, she is served her own recipe as Michelle Obama’s original creation. This sort of recipe espionage is not very nice. It seems IRONIC then that Queen Angie PHONED President Obama to complain, but she did use a special landline.

Give me back my Recipe for Potato Soup

I notice that the English have extended the Murder of Badgers because too few were shot. i.e. NOT ALL. It turns out that disturbing the Badgers by making them run for their lives actually spreads TB faster, rather than reduces it. Who is the Village Idiot Now? So be not surprised, OH HUMANS, when the English decided to GAS the badgers in their homes [Setts].

I should like someone to try and explain HUMANE gassing. Of course we know that the Farmers have been doing it secretly anyway, that is why there are so few Badgers to SHOOT HUMANELY. And another question, my ESTEEMED HUMAN readers, why if in Wales they can vaccinate Badgers against TB, the death method is being used in ENGLAND??????

Also spare a thought for all the small creatures that have died in the Australian Fires.
Koala with Baby.

Fire caused, apparently, by army exercises no LESS. We have not heard from my Cousin, Ethel Kangaroo for a few days now and are really worried about her.

Last Photo of Cousin Ethel Kangaroo

Koala Von Plush, who has only one Eye, is one of Plushiland's Oldest Residents, more than 45 HUMAN Years Old.
HUMANS are always so concerned about their stuff being destroyed, but not too bothered when they destroy the environment and its animals. I mean Green Peace people get arrested for Piracy, now downgraded to merely Hooliganism. The punishment for Hooliganism is 7 years in a Russian Gulag rather than 15. That is more than a 50% discount, a very good deal indeed. President Putin surely already has more than enough oil and gas reserves to bring Europe to its knees. Does He really need to destroy the Arctic to get a few more Barrels of oil? One oil spill and the Polar Bears will all be dead by 2018 rather than 2043 of my prediction.

Ratti Von Plush

Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,

The Prince Georges Start School

Prince Georges start School. Head Mistress Margi von Plush (Bunny) assisted by Astrid Von Plush (Bear)

Here in Plushiland our Prince Georges have started attending Margi’s Finishing School for Plushis. It is the same school that King Drooley and Count Eccles attended. I also went to Margi’s Finishing School. We all got our diplomas, but I took a few blank forms just in case I need to issue some diplomas of my own. The young Prince Georges will be learning things like: How to Live off the other Plushis, Smile and receive Fluff and Diamonds and Holidaying in Fancy Places. All of this I learnt at school as well. It is also where I started my own personal relationship with DIAMONDS.

I am happy to report that the HUMANS have found out that it rains DIAMONDS on SATURN and JUPITER. I thought that they were Roman Gods, but turns out that they are “Planets”. I am now working on a new plan to fund a Plushi-Mission to these “Planets”. I will need to apply for FUNDING to the EU Parliament for this Mission. I saw on my last visit to Brussels that they give out money for just about anything.

Ratti Von Plush in Brussels

 On a trip to the “Planets” I should be able to collect get enough DIAMONDS to fund all my needs in addition to those of Plushiland.
I was looking forward to spending 31 Million Plushi-Dollars on a suitable home for me [Ratti Palace]

Ideas for my Ratti Palace

like that Bishop in Germany, Teabag or Tea Pot Von Else, or Somebody Von Else’s Money.

Anyway, King Drooley said I could not spend that sort of money, which makes getting the DIAMONDS from the “PLANETS” my only option.

Dear HUMANS none of you have submitted a Flag for the Design a Flag for Plushiland Appeal. So thanks for the lack of response.... There is one or two of you who I expected would sent me something, but I am very disappointed. And none of you want to be my FRIEND on FACEBOOK either. Of course this means the new Flag for Plushiland will be designed by me. So expect the Flag to be My IMAGE with DIAMONDS on a Gold background. No, I won’t be able to get away with that, there will be too many complaints from the BEARS, BUNNIES and DISNEYS of Plushiland. King Drooley will say the Flag must be inclusive.

Speaking of inclusive, as our Badger Asylum Seekers obviously cannot return to the Killing Fields of England they have now been granted full Citizenship of Plushiland. So from Asylum Seeker to Citizen in 6 weeks, your Right Wing Politicians would be livid.
King Drooley presents Badgers with Plushiland Citizenship. Ratti and Edna also attended.

Close-up of New Citizens

Plushiland Citizen Cards

So the number of PLushis living in PLushiland continues to increase. A few small Plushis popped up in Plushiland yesterday, after being asleep in storage for more than 3 years. They are: Mini-Poo, Mini-Koala and Bun-Tin, with his Fluff Carrot (Yum Yum) and Tin.
Mini-Poo, Mini-Koala and Bun-Tin

I think I might have to Nationalise (Rattise) his Tin for my personal use. Now that my plans to build the Ratti Palace have been put on hold, I will have to find somewhere else to store my DIAMONDS and other TREASURES.

If I cannot have a Palace I have decided to give myself another Title, that of Lord Protector of Plushiland. [This is a historical reference to Oliver Cromwell , what an UGLY looking HUMAN, who got rid of King Charles I of England and for once it was the King’s head that rolled. That was a serious case of De-Fluffing, if ever there was one. King Drooley of Plushiland has nothing to fear from me, as I am appointed by his pleasure, with his Seal [which I hold for safe keeping, not wanting to burden the King with looking after the High Seal of Plushiland].

Ratti Von Plush
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Teddy Bears' Tea Party

Teddy Bears' Tea Party 3rd Plush-tober

Last time I posted I mentioned that I had to organise The Teddy Bears' Tea Party. This is an annual event that starts at the end of September and lasts for 15 days. The Tea Party is held each year in commemoration of the Marriage of Prince Wittel-Plush of Bavaria-Plushi and the Countess Olivia of Austro-Plushi. The happy Bear Prince invited selected members of the Bear Community of Bavaria-Plush to a Tea Party to celebrate his wedding. This was a good many Plushi-Years ago.
Holy Bear Tea Set, with DIAMONDS

Not only is The Teddy Bears' Tea Party a celebration where many large cups of Fluff-Tea are consumed by the Bears, The Teddy Bears' Tea Party is also an important religious event in Plushiland. The Bears get together to celebrate our deity The Great Plushi in the Sky. As I, Ratti Von Plush am the Pontifex Maximus (High Priest) of the Great Plushi in the Sky. And no the Great Plushi in the Sky IS NOT A BEAR. So it is no problem that I as a non-Bear I am the High Priest. Everybody thinks the Great Plushi in the Sky is LIKE them. The Bears think IT is a Bear. The Bunnies think IT is a Bunny. But the Wise Plushis All agreed the Great Plushi in the Sky is a KANGAROO, or at LEAST A DISNEY.
I tried to make Edna stay at home, but she seems to go every where I do. There is not getting away from Edna.

Edna and Ratti (in Holy Cloak)
Cloak with DIAMONDS

One of my jobs is to organise and preside at the Teddy Bears Tea Party. So I have to wear my religious robes. Notice how I have put your DIAMOND contributions to good use, decorating my Holy Cloak of Office. We in Plushiland have DIAMONDS and FLUFF, so our government has not shut down. Our Tea Party, really is a PARTY, not like in the USA. Imagine if we did not want to pay for the treatment of sick Plushis here in Plushiland. The way the HUMAN Tea Party in the USA wants people to DIE if cannot pay of medical attention. But obviously only BAD HUMANS lose their jobs and then have no Medical Aid.

Bears, Bears and More Bears

Teddy Bears from the Surveillance Photo

Today is also an important day for another reason. Today we celebrate the re-unification of East Plushiland with West Plushiland. This happened in 1990, after the East Plushis had been under the yoke of the evil, anti-capitalist, Bearists. [YOU HUMANS had something similiar with the communists in East Germany.] So today the 3rd of Plush-tober is a Holiday in Plushiland. Except for me, I always have to work. No rest for the ME.

Bat NSA keeping an Eye on the BEARS

Even at the Teddy's Tea Party, I Need to keep order. That is why I had my Bat-NSA - secret service, watch what the Bears were up to. You never know what might happen at a Bear Religious Event.

After the Tea Party some members of the Plushiland Elite had a Private Reception on the Royal Balcony. Special Guest was Miss P-Bear (holding the red heart).
From left, back: King Drooley, Lady Liberty, Miss P-Bear, Count Eccles, Lady Edna (always following me), Ratti Von Plush.

Ratti Von Plush
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY)
Office of the King
Plushi Towers

I am on Facebook and Twitter: Ratti Von Plush.
Email me at

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Badgers, Police and Democracy/Democra-Fluff

According to the guardian.see link the Police are passing protesters's [against the killing of BADGERS] details over to the Farmer's Union in the UK. Gosh, now that is really surprising.

Just like my Bat NSA, tells me what the Teddy Bears are up to in Plushiland. And how do you think I know what is going on in the HUMAN WORLD. I get reports from all my Plushi-Spies [obviously not Teddy Bears - they like HUMANS too much. Real case of Stockholm Syndrome] in your HUMAN HOUSES. Anyway, the police here in Plushiland would not support the killing of Badgers. The Organs of the state saying "Please, no I am just doing my job", that excuse cannot be used since the Second HUMAN World War, or Apartheid in South Africa.

Is it just me? Or are some [one does need to be reasonable and not imply ALL] Police particularly nasty. In UK, Shooting innocent people, killing people at demonstrations [okay one HUMAN and he had a weak heart, well he did after he was pushed by the policeman]. So supporting the killing of BADGERS seems the next step....At recent protests in Frankfurt, Germany the police were also a bit over keen to protect commercial interests.

Of course WE do not have protests in Plushiland. Everyone is happy with OUR Non-Democratic System in Plushiland. We have a ruling Council, the Privy Council that represents the needs of all Plushis, so they do not have to worry about Democra-Fluff. We have a perfect system here. Non- Represenatitive Plushi Democra-Fluff (NRPDF).
Privy Council serves the needs of all Plushis

Bit like HUMAN China, okay that is much more complicated. I cannot be bothered to find out anyway. I am very busy, I have to arrange a Teddy Bears's Tea Party. UGH how horrible. Silly Bears and their religion.

I also need to send my best wished to the old [double meaning intentional] and new Germany Queen, Angie, the First of that Name.
What the Greek Papers think

Will she rule longer than Baroness, Margaret Thatcher, the First of England? At least MT had policies......The statement does not imply that Ratti Von Plush supports these Policies.

Speaking of Democa-Fluff, I had  long meeting, at the weekend with the God-King, Tutankhamun. Or Rather his Plushi Counterpart, King Tuti-Bear, from Manchester, England. Tuti had some good ideas, about things like slavery and so on.... Tuti also had a Grand Vizier, AY. [so I am in good company as King Drooley's Grand Vizier] And it is simply not true that the Grand Vizier killed the King, Tuti.

King Tuti Bear, Ratti Von Plush and Edna as the Scribe

Maybe Having God Kings has put the Egyptians off Democra-Fluff permanently?Too soon? Too Late?

I visited the Plushi Aristocracy at weekend in Disney Mews.
Ratti Von Plush and Edna visit the Disney Mews, home of the Plushi Aristocracy. Few Bears!

There have been some complaints that religion is not mentioned enough in my posts. So I am now naming myself, the Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky. [This is why I have to organise the Teddy Bears's Tea Party] I have this very original IDEA, I am hoping to use religion to control the Teddy Bears, not sure if it will work.

Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Professor Woody studies SCIENCE
Oh Yes, HUMANS you are supposed to actually follow the links I have added to this post. It is to help educated YOU.

  I am not doing this for my health but wealth send the DIAMONDS to:

Ratti Von Plush
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY)
Office of the King
Plushi Towers

PS if you find any spelling or grammar mistakes, remember Engrish is not my first language. Email corretions to: or seem me on facebook: Ratti Von Plush I want to be YOUR friend.